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Settling In Children and Parents

A staff guide

The Importance of Planning your Settling-In Sessions for Parents and Children 

Parents entrust us with their most precious responsibility—their child. Settling-in sessions are the first opportunity for you to create a strong foundation for the child’s experience in our care and for building trust and confidence with their parents. These sessions are more than just about helping a child transition into a new environment—they also involve settling the parent into this new chapter of their child’s life.  

They offer you the opportunity to demonstrate that their child is in the best hands. How you interact with both the child and the parent during these sessions will set the tone for their entire experience with us. 

It’s important for staff to approach these sessions with sensitivity and empathy, recognising the challenges that come with balancing the needs of the new child and their parent during the settle, at the same time as the existing children in our care. 

We recognise that settling in a new child is no small task. It requires careful attention, patience, and compassion, all while maintaining ratios and ensuring the ongoing care of other children in the room. This balancing act is not easy, but it’s crucial to remember that the time and effort you invest during this period will pay off in the long run. A well-settled child and reassured parent will lead to a smoother routine for everyone, including staff. When parents feel confident and trust our approach, they are less likely to raise concerns or feel anxious, which ultimately makes our role easier. 

Understanding the Parent’s Perspective

For many parents, leaving their child in someone else’s care is an emotional and overwhelming experience. They may be experiencing anxiety, guilt, or worry, wondering how their child will adapt without them. It’s essential to empathise with these emotions and understand how they might perceive our actions. 

For example, we know that at times, other children may be left to cry for a certain period of time, and that this can sometimes be a necessary step to help a child develop self-soothing methods, or simply because you can’t be in three places at once with all the children in your care. Now put yourself in a parent’s shoes and consider how they may interpret this situation differently. Without providing the parent with an explanation as to why you may be leaving a crying child to settle themselves, they may worry that their child will also be left alone in your care, and they will immediately develop negative emotions about their child being in distress. 

By explaining our practices — why we allow a child time to self-soothe or how we encourage independence — we can begin to bridge this gap. Taking a moment to reassure parents and walk them through your methods demonstrates your expertise, helps them understand your intentions, and strengthens their trust in you and the nursery. 

Top Tips to a Positive Settle

Here are some things you can do to start off on the right foot: 

  • Clear communication: Explain what you are doing and why. For instance, if a child is crying, reassure parents that it’s a normal part of adjustment and describe how you’re supporting their child. 
  • Show empathy: Ask the parent if there is anything they are concerned about and acknowledge their emotions and concerns. Listen to what they share about their child’s needs, preferences, and routines and ensure you have read the All About Me form before the settle and show your knowledge and understanding of their child.  
  • Demonstrating expertise: Show parents that you understand child development and have strategies in place to support their child’s transition. This reassures them that their child is in capable hands. If you’re not sure what to say to a parent, ask your Room Manager for guidance. 
  • Positive reinforcement: Share small victories, like moments when the child engages in play or begins to settle, so parents can see progress and provide a detailed handover following the sessions where the child has been left alone. If there is a happy moment during play, try and take some photo evidence of this to share with the parent when they come to collect their child. If the child has had a difficult time, reassure the parent that this too is normal and that for some children it can take longer to settle than others.

Planning Your Settling-In Session

It is essential to plan the settling-in session to ensure both the child and the parent feel comfortable. Things we expect you to have in place before a settle include:

  • Appointing a key worker: Assign the child’s key worker before the settling in session to support the child and family through the transition.
  • Preparing ahead of time: Read the ‘All About Me’ form and prepare any questions in advance to show you are organised and knowledgeable about the child.
  • Scheduling the settle at an engaging time: Choose a time when a sensory activity, music time, or group time is planned so that parents can see some of the activities their child will be engaging in and feel reassured about the environment. This will also provide a better sense of organisation.

Tips on what you could say to parents on arrival

“Hi, I am [Key Worker’s Name], and I will be leading [Child’s Name’s] settling-in session today. We have a few things planned that [Child’s Name] can enjoy, such as a sensory activity, visiting the sensory room, and playing in the garden for a short while. This will give them a chance to explore and get familiar with our setting at their own pace.”

Throughout the Session:

  • Observe the child’s reactions and respond sensitively.
  • Encourage the child to engage with activities while reassuring the parent.
  • Highlight key features of the environment and explain how the nursery day flows.
  • During the second and third settling in session, take photos of positive moments to share with the parent after the session.

Tips on wrapping up the first settling in session

“Thank you for coming today, it was so nice to meet you and ‘Child’s Name’. Do you have any questions about anything you have seen at the nursery today? Is there any more information I can provide? We look forward to seeing you tomorrow/next week for the next settling in session which will be 2 hours long. We will aim to spend some time with ‘Child’s Name’ without you there to help ease the transition.”

Please remember…

The settling-in process is a delicate balance, but when done thoughtfully and purposefully, it creates a positive start to a child’s journey with us and builds a foundation of trust with their family. By putting ourselves in the parents’ shoes, showing empathy, and demonstrating professionalism, we can ensure that this transition is a positive experience for everyone involved. 

Remember, the impact of your effort and care during settling-in sessions is invaluable.